I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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