i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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