If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
