If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
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