You're a womanizer and a bitch.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
