don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
