what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
