I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
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