I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
