i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Randomize
