im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
