She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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