It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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