Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I just found a bag of teeth...
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
