May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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