i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
