yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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