Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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