I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
