I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
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