youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
