...so i touched it.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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