Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
A+ Viking dick
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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