Midget sex pt 2 tonight
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Randomize
