i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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