loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
