is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I want a musical about memes.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
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