I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Just invented taco cereal.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
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