so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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