How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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