If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Randomize
