Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
