So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
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