i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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