She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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