my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
