Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
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