you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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