ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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