He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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