In the future we'll all be gay
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
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