tell your sister to shave her snatch
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
