On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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