I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Randomize
