Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
a search helicopter?!
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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