Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Randomize
