Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
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