I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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