I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
