The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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